Thursday, September 17, 2009

The Beautiful People


I happened to be down on the Mall, in the secret underground headquarters of the Ministry when the March of the Whinos was taking place. I surfaced for awhile to do a little field anthropology and, holy shit, did that ever prove the maxim: There are things you can't unsee. There were many thousands of them. Not quite as many as at the Anti-War Rally a few years back but still, a dismayingly large number of very pasty, very smug people. My highly unscientific sampling suggests the crowd was 99.5 % Ofay. The median age was probably about 52. They were an average of 27 pounds over their ideal weight. Half smoked. Forty-two percent had misspellings on the signs they carried. None that I observed wore a collared shirt, a tie or, heaven forfend, a sport jacket on their pilgrimage to the Capitol of the country they so love. It was truly Glenbeckistan on the march.


Amost everybody brought a digital camera and I have never seen so many video cameras in my life. They weren't so much having a protest as posing as protestors for the shoot. Sure there were things they were against; they're Republicans and that's what Republicans do - They are above all Againsters. And now that there's a black Democrat in the White House they can be Insurgents against everything, all the time. They don't have to contribute, they can just Do Good by sabotaging, by standing athwart the Evil Negro Agenda and yelling stop! In unison. Through bullhorns.


But they were mostly against "Obama-care". Even as these fat, lazy, self-indulgent, slobs suck up ungodly amounts of Lipitor, diabetes treatment, heart surgeries, gall bladder treatment, GI amelioration, cancer treatment et cetera et cetera, often at government (Medicaid etc) expense, and always at someone else's expense, they march against the idea that anybody else should have their treatment paid for. Looking at them you could truly see, it really rankled them, the idea that their tax dollars might go to freeloaders. Of course defense contractor have been freeloading to the tune of $trillions for about 60 years now, and none of these people are bothered by that one little bit. Perhaps it's because defense contractors are mostly white.


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