Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Kiddie Porn




At a friend’s insistence I went to see “The Chronicles of Narnia” the other night. Having thought it was “Barnia,” I was disappointed that there was no affectionate purple dinosaur. I was consoled somewhat by the presence of Tilda Swinton, as the White Beeyatch. I wanted Evil to triumph just for her. Best line in a film so far this year: When Tilda tells the Fawn how the Turkish Delight addicted brat sold him out, “He betrayed you. For sweeties.” Tilda is just radioactive, in my book, one of the most arresting presences on the screen today.

Otherwise, I thought the film was pretty much kiddie-porn, that is, porn for kiddies, in that it celebrates “carnage” while insulating the little bastards from any moral dimensions involved. Nobody (white) really dies, and even the Lion’s “sacrifice” is a cheap deus-ex-machina trick. A perfect vehicle for future Rumsfeldjugend. The way to conquer Evil is with Force! Nobody you know will die and Evil will greet you as a liberator. And it will all pay for itself in Turkish Delight.

1 Comments:

At 2:00 PM, Blogger black dog barking said...

That's a pretty good paragraph, that last one, "Otherwise,…Turkish Delight". All the truthy bits of Narnia are rendered believable because they are filtered through the consciousness (and conscience!) of an eight year old girl. Sincerely, it's too bad we in the Real World don't hold ourselves to that high standard: what would an eight year girl do?

The White Witch was truly a force. I, too, was rooting for evil from early on. You'll know the Rove Administration is serious about world domination if one day Laura Bush has been replaced by Tilda Swinton.

 

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